24 November 2006

Exclusive Pastafarian Sect Targets Lunch

A group of strictly separatist Pastafarians is believed to be behind the recent spate of olive-oil insertions into pots of boiling water around Australia. A shadowy group of "exclusive Pastafarians" with possible links to the gluten free wing of the US church (the "neo-conchiglies") may have been attempting to influence the consistency of pasta in Australian homes.

The National Party is believed also denied all links with these activities, but the timing of these rumours coming so close to the release of the Cole report into other wheat based acts of international scandal cannot be coincidental.