11 March 2007

Is it the size of the prize that counts?

RAmen fellow followers of the Noodly One

Pastor Len's theological foray has tested my faith in no uncertain terms. I have been reflecting, with the aid of a nice drop of chianti, on what could account for the continuing rise in global temparatures while at the same time more and more people are becoming pirates.

One suggestion I'd like to make, is that pirating one piddly TV show might give you a slight piratical air, but it is too small an effort to really make an impact on the climate of an entire planet. No, what you need to do to truly earn your jollies Roger, is to take every pirate's favourite bit o booty - a ship.

Alas, as it is sad to learn that the Brethren of the Coast are slacking off across the globe. Only 239 ships attacked n 2006, compared to 329 in 2004 - the prospects for the planet look bleak. The only thing we can perhaps hope for is a grand nautical feedback loop, without resorting too far towards rationality (yarr, what's the point of having a religion if you have to use that?):

Less pirates = increased global warming

Increased global warming = higher sea levels

More sea = more pirates?

More pirates = cooler planet

We could be heading back to the glory days of the 17th Century me hearties, at this rate we'll all be in boats in a few years, and them of us that have studied the arts of piracy will be able to do our bit to bring on the next ice age.

Also any other pirates out there can relax for yet another reason - at least Bill Gates has stopped trying to ruin all your fun as well.

RAmen and pass the grissini.

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At 10:55 am, Blogger Wench said...

I fancy the replica Endeavour myself :)

At 2:20 pm, Anonymous mattabat said...

Where is the FSM pirate ship church when we need it??

At 11:11 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

we are starting an online magazine in Qld and would like you guys to write a bit about the flying spaghetti monster. We think this site is really funny and want to help convert people and let them see the light.

please get in contact with us.

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