15 June 2006

A creed indeed

As you know, we strive to maintain theological rigour and unity in the Australian Pastafarian community (apart from some unease about the Stripper Factory - which could yet be an Edifying Metaphor to guide our spiritual progress). So we are grateful to the salty sea dog Aussie DaveL for pointing us towards the creed of the Pastafarian faith. We offer it here to guide the Noodly Followers and encourage those who are yet to dip their fork in.

I believe in the One Monster, Creator of Goodness and of Nourishment, and of Sustenance.

I believe in the Pasta, and the Sauce, and the Meatballs, for they provide me all that I need.

I believe in the Many Beverages that the Flying Spaghetti Monster provides, for they engender true fellowship, and will quaff them heartily, whether it be Beer, or Wine, or Sweet Ice Tea (in the South) or even Milk or Kool-Aid, for it is not good to withhold fluids, and we need to take care of our Bodies, the Beneficiaries of His Holy Goodness.

I believe that in his Creamy Deliciousness, He has given us the healthful Green Salad, the Yummy Garlic Bread, and the Blessed Cheese for the top of our Spaghetti, and If we eat All our Dinner, a Dessert of Extreme Chocolateness will surely follow, preferably Dark Chocolate, for it is Good. (That part's my idea, the dark chocolate part.)

I believe that Our Wonderful Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither Male, nor Female, but is instead beyond the reaches of the gender confusion of Man and Woman Kind, yea, the FSM is ageless, timeless and all-encompassing.

I believe that FSM has created all there is for our entertainment and sustenance, and has given unto us the mental capacity to adapt the mythologies of This Universe to aid and comfort us here, until that day we are able to join together at the foot of the Beer Volcano and enumerate our specifications at the Stripper Factory so that happiness and contentedness and good cheer be present for all, forever and forever,


Presented unto you as instruction in the Faith, and to answer some questions up front.

Actual theological progression of Pastafarianism, the largest sect of the Pasta-based denominations, is--

Pasta--leader of a congregation
Bishop--oversees several congregations within a geographic area
ArchBishop--for when there are more groups that the Bishops alone can deal with
Pastriarch--Head of the Pastfarian church in a country. Very large countries may have Vice Pastriarchs.

Power is vested in the Individual Pastafarian, and flows from there to the Pasta, to the various Bishops, and then to the Pastriarch.

The nurturance of the believers by the Pasta, the Bishops and the Pastriarch is a key element. This is not technically a hierarchy, as the power flows upward, not down from the Pastriarch. These are serving positions, not power positions, and are advisory to the individuals "below" them on the chart.

Pastafarianism does not support the use of the word "flock" when referring to a body of believers. That is a Sheparding term, and Our Delicious and Nourishing Monster has not been caring for us by following us around with a crook and a couple of dogs. If you're looking for a flock to fleece, study Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. Not Jim Bakker, because he got caught. THOSE guys. FSM is not one of them.

Seeking rank and power is contrary to the example of the FSM. All His children are equal in his Noodly Eyestalks.

RAmen. So be it by the Revelation of FSM to His servant.


At 9:26 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Pastor,

I would like to draw to your attention the awesome disciples of HIS Noodlyness - Scuurvy, a Brisbane based Pirate Metal band. Surely worthy of note! I am quite saddened to note also that Pastafarians were not mentioned in the ABS religion census tables. We should exhort the faithful to be more forceful in their commitment. After all religions with a mere 600 followers got a mention, why not we!!!



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